
It's amazing how fast time can come and go and then at other times it feels like it's standing still. I have felt both since the passing of Hope. Today, it was 9 years ago that I drank from the wisdom that was in those crystal blue eyes of hers. It was 9 years ago that I held her close and sang to her. It was 9 years ago that I got to do any of those normal mommy things with my baby. . .my favorite was showing her off, as I was so proud of the fighter she was.
I know given her complex anatomy, I can't but be grateful for the 4 and 1/2 wonderful months with her. Seriously what a blessing especially when we were told she only had a 20% chance of surviving that initial first open heart surgery the day after her birth. She beat those odds and more in getting to come home 3 weeks later. We were able to make memories with her regardless of wanting more. I can't be sad about that, but I do miss her.
With her passing we received a wonderful gift from Heaven in having Nathan 5 days to her 1st Angel Anniversary. God knew what we needed and I can't deny the blessing we received. However, she will always be a part of my life and though many would like me to believe that I need to move on and forget her . . .IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN, as she was a part of me.
Tomorrow is the Walk for Healing Hearts at the Riverview Park in Provo, Ut. I look forward to seeing so many there that share the desire to spread CHD Awareness. Part of the event includes an Angel Ceremony/Butterfly Release to remember those children/adults that have passed on that are members of IHH. I look forward to not only honoring Hope, but all those other Angels as they have a place in my heart. As part of the ceremony I have received permission from Paul Cardall to use his heartfelt music as background to the ceremony. Paul Cardall is an award winning musician who recently received a heart transplant and is one of the adult members of IHH. He is an inspiration to so many as he has never given up. He and Hope share the birth date of April 24th. Hopefully next year he will be strong enough to actually be in attendance to the event and what a treat it would be if he entertained us with a collection of his songs. Until then my prayers and thoughts are with him and his family as he recovers from this life saving transplant.